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What I Wish I Could Tell my Younger Self About Depression & the Things I Still Need to learn.

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In Cameroon, you can be depressed for months without your roommate or neighbor being aware. Most likely this is not something limited to Cameroon, depression- emotional and mental health or the lack thereof is often overlooked in many countries around the world. But I can only speak for mine.The truth is you can suffer from depression without knowing it yourself, you may know something is different, something is wrong, you feel off, but you do not know what it is unless you have been made aware of such a thing being 'a thing'. It is life, you’d say. There are phases like that, you'll be told. 
As I considered depression of recent, my own experiences with it and those of my friends I thought to do a post on what I wish I had known, what I am still to learn. I hope it helps someone, in some way.
I wish I could tell my teenage self that:  
1-When they say ‘this too shall pass’ they mean it. It may not feel like it but time does dull the pain. This is not to say you easily forge…

Nude Pics, Sex Tapes and the Things We’re Not Saying

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Nude pics? Sex tapes? Revenge porn is trending in Cameroonian social media spaces.
For us, it’s a fairly new phenomenon. In a country where sex talk is still something to be done in the dark or behind closed doors, the ease with which sexually explicit content is being shared among young and old alike is breaking carefully built pretenses of our morality vis a vis western society. More than once, I have read comments like “these young people are following white people in doing such things, this is not Cameroonian”. As is often the case, whatever is deemed immoral is not traditionally ours, but exported. Ironical given how most of the morals we adhere to are elements of foreign culture and religion literally forced on us during colonialism.  
But never mind that, I am in no way attempting to normalize the trend of nude pics, sex tapes, and revenge porn. It is ‘abnormal’, it is unprecedented in our context and it is definitely not OK. However as conversations around this problematic trend…

Takeaways from ‘The Struggle’

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I recently wrote a piece for This is Africa on the lessons my experience of living under the Internet ban left me with. You can read the piece here
The internet ban was just a fraction of this protest, however. This ‘struggle’ which has gone on for over seven months experience has marked me in more ways than I can express. I am sure it has marked others just as much if not more. As I noted takeaways from the internet ban I considered other lessons this experience in its entirety should have taught us collectively as Cameroonians. This experience; the loss, the violence, the rifts, the ignorance, and crookedness it has exposed should be at the very least a learning experience. It should above all else challenge us to address things we let slide before, contributing factors to our current predicament we often overlooked.
Consider our Police….
For one, I hope Cameroonians now see the need to focus on the way we recruit our police and jailers. I hope we now find ourselves discontented at th…

Pssss....I hope you know I'm a Christian

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I've been downcast since Sunday. What started as self-disappointment over my inability to capture what I need to say properly in writing has evolved into a wave of misery over things I have yet to achieve, yet to overcome, or may not even be able to change.

These thoughts sent me to my vault of spoken word videos, where I go watch what really inspired people produce (and further my miserable mood -of course) as well as renew my faith in myself by listening to the gospel in my favorite form- poetry.

I replayed some of my favorite spoken word performances: "Does anybody know you're a Christian" by Karness and "Almost (Saved)" by Ezekiel Azonwu among others.
As I envied their words, rhythm, and confidence in performing. I thought of my faith and how most times it's all that keeps me going.
Although I have a plethora of friends who do not share my faith (or any for that matter), who's reasons and stance I can appreciate. I still can't consider not b…

No-Internet Cameroon: Two months on

On the evening of 17th January 2017, two regions in Cameroon- one of which is my permanent domicile- were indefinitely cut off from internet access. Today marks two months. The government claims it "had to take drastic measures to curb the spread of false information and extremist messages". This could be debated. However collectively punishing over 4 million people by limiting their freedom of speech, hindering their business operations and so much more just because our government cannot stand bad things being said about them? That is not debatable. It is just wrong, short-sighted and dictatorial.  I have no doubts that if Cameroon were a lot more united. If my people had a stronger sense of social justice, this would not be happening. The other eight regions would not have taken it in stride that two were being silenced. Both Anglophones and Francophones make up the other eight regions. If we had even a tenth of self-respecting government administrators, this would not be…

What’s happening in Cameroon? Learning, I hope

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On the 10th of October 2016, Lawyers in two out of ten regions in the country went on strike/industrial action, after giving the government fair warning in 2015. For two weeks they sat home and did nothing. No one paid them any mind, in fact the Minister of Justice insulted them. They took permission to hold street protests (confirm) and after successfully marching across Commercial Ave (with a crowd of people joining them out of curiosity) their union president gave a speech calling for the end of the protests, thanking his colleagues and police who he claimed had “behaved like police of America and Britain “. He praised them prematurely it seems, because by the time he finished the police aimed teargas at their group to disperse them.


Well two weeks after that incident teachers- the most populated occupational field in the nation- decided they would go on strike too. To support lawyers and to bring attention to their own issues with the government’s attempts at harmonization which t…

The Silent Majority

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August of this year shall make five years of my blogging here on Musings. It was in August of 2012 during a trip to Nigeria for Chimamanda’s Farafina workshop that a friend of a friend, Martin Takha first introduced me to the world of blogging. Helping me with everything from the Gmail account to deciding the first template I used for a couple of years. As Cameroon’s ‘blogosphere’ has become crowded with a plethora of people aspiring to be Cameroon’s Linda Ikeji, I am proud to say I’ve stayed true to myself and the purpose of this blog. A dual purpose actually; to ensure I write regularly and to create platform through which I could share my views, defend my opinions and if possible tell a side of our story which may be otherwise missed as popular mediums echo a single often incomplete story.
I have promoted blogging through my youth advocacy as a means for young people to get their voices heard. Through BetterBreed Cameroon I have preached to young people on the necessity in telling …